A child’s community of support provides a place of belonging. This community includes family, daycare, school and friends — the people and places they come in contact with, and influence them almost every day in their young lives. Grandparents and other members of the extended family are very important for children, especially if they have already established a close relationship. If they don’t openly take the side of either parent, relatives can provide emotional security and be an important influence on children. Grandparents, aunts and uncles can help children by keeping in touch, spending time alone with them and assuring them that the divorce is not their fault. Pre-teens and teenagers, in particular, need regular contact with their friends, from talking on the telephone to spending time together at school and social activities. Teachers and caregivers should be informed if there is a separation or a change of address. It is particularly important to let teachers and caregivers know who will be picking up the children and when, and 18
who to call in case of a problem or emergency. Teachers and child care providers are especially significant since they spend so much time with your children. They can help provide a stable environment and a consistent routine. They can also help your children understand that they are not alone and that other children also experience separation and divorce. Good communication between teachers, caregivers and parents can help children adjust to the changes that divorce brings to their lives. They can play an important role by talking to you about any changes in your child’s behaviour. Often, children do not express feelings directly, but teachers may notice signs of distress.
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